So im still alive, which sometimes is an unfortunate thing.


Im still trying to do everything in my power to go out and photograph again, things have been rather hectic with a now full time structured scheduled job which is nice for once, payment worth my time finally, all in good time right.

IM still not happy and probably wont be for a long time but comes with Sadness is heart wrenching photographs to possibly express how i feel so possibly stay tuned to that.


I feel lost somewhat, a traveled path that ive forgotten, i want to find my way before i rot dead right before your eyes.










thats all folks i dont have much to say, dont have much to talk about and dont really have much to show for, i really have nothing </3




--Lithp

Rest in peace dreams.


Rest in peace harmory.


Rest in peace trust.



I am not too sure how much activity you will see. I have alot of stuff to think about and decide for myself. As it will be difficult i need to come together with myself and understand and learn to deal with this pain ill feel for an eternity.


a little inspirational song / lyrics to end off the last journal entry for awhile"


"A Year From Now"


Complete and total adoration,
My gift to you, my heart was yours,
In ten weeks you shaped it,
In one night you murdered it.
Torn from my chest and laid at your feet,
That first step you took was the worst.
Since then you've walked a thousand miles in solace and short remark,
And I still have these memories,
But we'll never see what we could have been.
Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now?
Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go?
Remember, cause that's all you can do.
We'll never make another memory,
We'll never make another memory.
I wish I'd have died in your arms the last time we were together,
So I wouldn't have to wake without you today.
This time I thought things were real,
You said they were,
What happened?
You were a priority,
Was I an option?
I let you see a side of me that I don't share with anyone.
Promises are just words unless they are fulfilled.
Knew from the beginning all I had to offer you was my heart,
I'm sorry that it wasn't enough.
So, we'll go our own ways,
And hopefully you'll remember the things I've told you,
Hopefully you'll understand that everything I said was in sincerity.
A broken heart is not what I wanted from this,
But I guess I've learned from it.
But aren't you supposed to learn from your mistakes?
I don't consider this a mistake,
I just wish the story didn't end this way,
Cause I'm still in love with the person who helped me write it.
Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go?
Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now?




- Across Five Aprils

i can't create i need brain food, ive been in a slump for quite some time.


cant force creation, have to roll with the punches.

Sigh.

why do they hurt and why do they always seem so conflicting.

Why cant a person just live happy with the ones that make them happy ?

Im always second best in this number 1 fucked up world


/end

BOO!